Leaving on a Jet Plane

The last couple of weeks all blur together in a whirlwind of late nights, homework, and denial of all the work I have to do. As I write this, I realize that I can't actually remember the last time I was really relaxed. Everything has been go, go, go, and life is just pretty stressful in general.

I recently met with the coordinator of the Rotary Youth Exchange program, and I've been thinking more and more about taking a gap year and learning about a new culture. The program sends students to a foreign country for a year to attend high school and live with several host families. I've talked with people whose kids have participated, and the common consensus is that a gap year in a different country is something that's definitely worth it.

My recent interest in the program is motivated by the part of me that wants to travel and see the world. Different cultures fascinate me because there is so much variance but also so much that everyone has in common around the world. I've spent most of my summers in Taiwan, and it's always a culture shock the first couple of weeks there, and the first couple of weeks back, and it always confuses me how I can be a part of both cultures--I can't reconcile the two: for me, Taiwan doesn't exist when I'm in the US, and vice versa. I want to see more ways that people live, and it'd be pretty cool to pick up a third language.

There's also another part of me that's not ready for college. I don't feel ready to face four more years of school, and I'm not particularly excited about it. I skipped a grade, so I have the good fortune of being able to take a gap year and still be the normal age for a college freshman. I don't know enough about myself or anything else, and I want to figure a little bit out before I settle down for four more years.

Mostly though, I want to get out of here. Packing up and just straight-up leaving is something I fantasize about in (usually physics) class. I'd leave all the college apps and fighting behind--I can't really do that, but taking a Rotary gap year seems like a perfectly viable alternative. I feel trapped--not the kind of trapped that going to college would get rid of, but trapped as in caged into the monotony of upper-middle class life in the US.

With all this in mind, I'm still not completely sure about doing Rotary, but it's something that makes me excited, and I'm giving it serious consideration.

An Introduction

When I'm running back from cross country practice, the world always seems ten times better than it does on the way there. Last week, as I jogged along the tree-lined streets of Urbana and delighted in the approaching conclusion of the day's run, I did a double take--there was definitely orange on that tree, and a dash of yellow on the one next to it--the leaves were changing color.

There is something wonderful about tumbling out of my blankets in the morning to a slightly chilly room that's the perfect temperature to keep me awake in the morning. People always say that time moves by sluggishly in the summer, but in fall, there seems to be always enough time to do everything. Time is roomier in the fall.

For me, fall has the best memories, and the best things always happen. Everything is clear and crisp and beautiful. My birthday is in October, as is Halloween. I love walking around Curtis Orchard picking out pumpkins and buying food, and I love the apple cider and doughnut afternoons that always follow a day spent there. Last year was the first year I didn't go trick-or-treating, and only because I had too much homework (and I'm not ashamed that I've trick-or-treated for 15 years!), and I still love looking at everyone in their ridiculous costumes bouncing around from door-to-door. The trees are shedding their leaves, but before they die for the year, they are at their most breathtaking.

Fall is the transition between sweltering heat and freezing cold, and lately I can relate. This is my senior year in high school, and between the homework, the running, the test-taking, and the college applications, I've barely had time to realize how close I am to the end, but also to the beginning. So many lasts are coming up this year--last cross-country race, last dances, last winter surprise party, last year living at home--and that makes me scared and sad. But at the same time there are so many firsts coming my way and I can't wait to see everything that is in store. This blog will be my chronicle of growing up and learning the important things.